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Post by Alias09 on Apr 21, 2004 21:04:13 GMT -5
This is a reflection exercise I did in one of my classes and I thought it would be interesting to see what everyone else’s perspectives would be and how would they prioritize life. It’s not meant to be depression or anything but it just makes you think if you were dying what would you do.
Assume that you have been told that you have only 6 months to live.
A. What is the one thing you most regret about your life? B. What is the one thing that you are most grateful for about your life? C. What do you think you would do with your last six months?
1. ___ I would make a marked change in my lifestyle (for example, I would…) 2. ___ I would seek more solitude [for reading, contemplating, mediation, reflecting, spending time in nature, or preying]. 3. ___ I would shift my focus from attention to my own needs to a greater concern for others. 4. ___ I would attempt to compete projects and tie up loose ends. 5. ___ I would make little or no change in my lifestyle. 6. ___ I would try to do one very important thing. 7. ___ I might consider committing suicide. 8. ___ I would [other]
My response were: A. Not being spontaneous and taking more risk. B. My family and friends C. The choices for C you’re supposed to check which ones you would do and then answer the question to it. 1) I wouldn’t know what I would change about my lifestyle but it just sounds right picking that one. 4) I would want to say goodbye to everyone I know and do something with all of my stuff. 6) I would probably try to do one thing that people can remember me by. I don’t know exactly what that would be yet. 8) I would want to travel and participate in high-risk activities like skydiving and bungee jumping.
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Post by Frenchy Faith on Apr 22, 2004 6:13:49 GMT -5
Very very funny coincindence... at least to me. I've considered all these kind of questions for the past 7 months, lol. I think it's a very very interesting thread, not depressive at all but on the contrary, it makes you appreciate more to live everyday. I GOT NOTHING AT ALL !!! *jumps everywhere happily* To answer you Faithy, about the shout box, I asked good luck for the RMI. & no one worry coz if I tell now it's coz I'm over-enthousiastic since my brain is perfectly well. Ok, I'm gonna explain so that you understand, just skip this passage if you're bored (my life is boring, he he he) I put my answer in the end.
For many years, I've got a weird "symptom", that I can't really explain (it's very upseting not being able to explain), it's like for a few seconds, I lose the control of the left part of my body (which make feels pityful, coz not being able to control your own body is really something odd). It's like my hand becomes tense & I can't keep doing simple thing like writing, pouring water in a glass or so. But it never lasts more than a few seconds & no one noticed it, except maybe once, the english teacher, but nvm. I thought for a time it was more like dizziness due to a low tension, & I didn't care much. But then, since september last year, it happened more & more often, like 20 times a day, & I began to realize it might be more than dizziness. So I went online & I ask in a "health" forum, & ppl mostly didn't know, one told me her neighbor had a son with the same symptom & that they discovered it was a brain tumor (I admit she is the one who first scared me) & they advised me to go to a doctor.
So, after a while coz I was busy, I did it, & the first doctor thought it was something due to a lack of magnesium & I had to take pills for a while, but it didn't work so he gave me other things but my mom forbad me to take these coz they were the same that drove her to hospital years ago. (hence the kidding on pills alias if you remember, he he he, I didn't become an addict you see ? ). Then, I went to see another doctor who told me that indeed there were no reasons for me to take these pills, & she had me to make a blood test. The blood test was normal, even perfect, lol, but before to put me on medication against stress (according to her, this thing could be due to a huge stress) she decided to send me to a neurologist to check if my brain was ok since my symptoms are indeed these of a brain problem. I had to do an electro-encephalogram, but everything was ok again & just when I began to be less worried, since they had found nothing I've been sent to make a RIM of my brain. It took a while to get an appointment, & after the stress of the waiting, I finally made it yesterday & it was ok (one of the biggest relief of my life I think). I still donno what make me ill like that, & the doctors will make me try different pills till we can find out what the hell is this (If it's stress I swear I'll kill it for doing me that! ha ha ha) But that's really the kind of thing to make you ponder. I mean, that's scary. Honestly, I was scared, not that much of dying, but of becoming a burden, like not being able to do anything on my own. I know it was kind of silly to worry, but I couldn't help it. & it's then that you wonder about what it could be like to be told that you've got only a few months to live. Every decisions you take would be so huge if you were terminally ill, coz I mean, you would do anything not to waste your little time. There was a good movie from what I heard on the topic (I haven't see it) called Ma vi si mi (my life without me) & it's the story of a terminally ill woman who decides to change her life when she learns about her illness.
So I'm done with telling my silly worry of the past months, & I'm gonna answer your questions.
A / About my life, nothing I think coz I would have made sure I've done everything before to die. I think I would regret not being able to see my bro growing up (getting married for instance)
B / Just have lived. & have done what I wanted before to die.
C / My gosh, so many things.
8/ (others) First I wouldn't tell anyone. Like for the past months, I didn't tell anyone, coz in case I would have had sommink in my brain, I would have rather to keep my friends out of this (even tho it's very hard I can tell) so that they wouldn't worry. My best friend's jokes & great help to raise spirits never missed me so much as in this period, but meanwhile, but it would have been unfair to worry her. I actually even began to be more distant with her & to some others ppl just "in case" as the doctors said, so that they wouldn't be hurt. lol, I was working on a way to have her disliking me without hurting her (yep, I was kinda paranoid, lmao). Actually, that's odd, I was split bewteen the will to spend more much time with ppl I like, & avoiding them so that they forgot me. The second reason is to avoid pity. Gosh, pity is a thing I can't bear coz it makes you weaker. When you try to be strong & to show nothing, if you have someone around who act or let you see that they have pity, it breaks every effort you made to remain stoical. lol, the only person who acted that way to me was a drugstore's woman, coz she knew according to what I asked, that I was gonna have a RMI & GOSH !!! the way she spoke, her look & all, it was like I was already condemned, ewww! I tried to leave quickly but she wouldn't give me my stuff & went on asking how I felt ....... HAAAAAAAAAA, lmao. When I finally could get out I was really down, lol, I was like gosh, maybe I've sommink serious. pffft
2/I would prolly read a lot, & try to meet different ppl to talk about their views on many things. Religion is prolly one thing I would think about a lot though in the past months, I went from agnostic thoughts to more atheist thoughts. I would like to meet a "real" believer for each religion (buddhist, catholic, protestant, musulman, orthodox, & so one) who could gimme more reasons of their faith than "I was put in it when I was a kid". lol, I think I would hate dying without having a clear opinion on the topic, & since I could never make my mind on it, I guess I would die thinking "at least I'm gonna have the answer !!!" lol
4/ I would travel all around the world but with only 6 months I think I would go to the US (after a lil journey in India tho) since this is the place I'd like to know the more. I would meet ppl, & I would work to help, in anything. I guess with terminally ill kids, since I've always found it so unfair.
5/I would write. I would rewrite my story about the terminally-ill girl with the experience I would have, & finish all my stories, the thing I never do coz I don't have time. Oh, yep, I would also give up with school, no need to waste time there when you can learn so many things outside, on your own, as long as you don't have to build a future.
7/ I would consider suicide, but as I said, only if I became a burden for others.
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Post by Alias09 on Apr 22, 2004 19:41:56 GMT -5
WOW. frenchy, your replies make me want to re-evaluation my choices. plus im really glad youre okay.
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Post by Frenchy Faith on Apr 23, 2004 1:25:40 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,90000]Why re-evaluate your choices? lol, & thanky, he he he, let's be selfish, I'm glad I'm ok too [/glow]
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Post by Faithy on Apr 23, 2004 1:49:25 GMT -5
[glow=gray,2,300]Frenchy, wow I don’t know what to say. First off I am REALLY REALLY REALLY glad that your ok. I kinda whish that you had told me, but I totally understand you not wanting your friends to worry. Plus it’s not like I have been overly available lately. I understand how you feel pushing away from people so as not to burden them, ( I do it to and I have been since this family stuff has been going on, I feel like I am depressing everyone even when I wasn’t talking about it, so I basically just stopped talking to most everyone) I feel bad though knowing you have been worried and going through all of that alone, you should talk to people, I can’t imagine how scary that all must be. I am so glad you went to a doctor about it, and I hope they get it fixed soon for you. And I really hope it is nothing to serious. Stress can do some awful things to your body, trust me I know, and with your situation, I can understand, I just hope they can give you something so that the symptom goes away. Pleas let me know how it goes, and if this is stress related, then it’s more of a reason to come to the US to get away from certain stress, lol. Take care Frenchy, and ((BIGHUGS))!! ~ faithy [/glow]
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Post by Frenchy Faith on Apr 23, 2004 3:51:08 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,90000]Thanky Faithy, that's really nice from you. That's great you understand why I didn't tell & dont feel bad really, I mean I choose not to tell about it & it was hard but I'm glad I did it coz in the end it was silly to worry. lol, maybe I shouldn't have told about it even now, lol, the topic was just such a funny chance. & it's not something serious, I mean I told about it now coz I think it's not serious, lol, I'm gonna try different things but that's not important since my brain isn't concerned, lmao & yeah, good reason for me to go to the US. I count every months, lmao, argh so much time to wait still lol & I don't find you depressive at all when u talk on the contrary, lol to see you fight show the contrary of depression. Hope it's been ok for u & ur bro about what u wrote in ur journal *hugs* that's just so mean & grrrrr, but oh well, i've already made a comment, i'm not gonna start again, ha ha ha
Btw Aly if you got other topic like that it'd be cool that you post them, your course about death sounds so interesting (coz I bet you did that in this course, not in the flower one, lmao)[/glow]
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Post by Xander Snaps on May 22, 2004 2:00:54 GMT -5
Wow... That is a scary thing to have happening. I'm so glad they havent found anything bad in you and that your brain is good as normal. I had no idea you where going through such problems. I totally understand how you didnt wanna tell anyone so no one would worry. I can understand about not wanting to talk with people. I sorta been trying to push away from people too. Can't really stand to talk to people offline much anymore, and online too. I end up getting lectured by people who barely ever talk to me. Course i'm not going through anything that serious and all. And not like i'd wanna tell most people anyways. Only reason some people have been talking to me lately is because i'm depressed. I just wanna tell them to go to Hell because they normally wouldnt talk to me at all. Lol, yeah, they piss me off. I've just been trying to talk to very few people lately. Just pretty much wanting/trying to keep to myself. Only talkin to people who I actually trust. Which is a few people here btw. Faithy, Frenchy, And April. Probally safe to say that you all is the nicest people I ever met. Anyways, here's my answers to that thing... A. Not taking more risks, not doing more stuff, not leaving this town sooner, and not telling my dad off yet. B. The few nice, sweet, and caring people i've met online. Dunno if i'm grateful for anything else... C. Walk away from home and never come back. Maybe travel, or rob a bank, or do buncha crazy stuff like bungee jumping, and stuff because I know I was gonna die anyways. Dunno if I did this number stuff right, but here it is... 1. I would cry. 2. I would wonder why life sucks so much. 3. I'd probally leave home and try to travel some. 4. I'd get a hooker. 5. Dunno, maybe try to go to every state, except like Alaska and Hawaii since their not connected. 6. I'd steal a good car to drive in to all the states, maybe get in a chase with the police to for fun. 7. I'd probally end up going through with suicide. I'd probally most likely slit my throat or dive into oncoming traffic. Before I did that though i'd try to get money for all my stuff and than give the money to some family where they can't afford much food for their kids. 8. Maybe if I could i'd offer to donate my heart to someone who need a transplant. If my heart was still good and they'd do it right away...
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Post by Frenchy Faith on Sept 11, 2004 3:36:16 GMT -5
[glow=red,1,900000000] sometimes it's so upsetting that I wanna kill myself. I mean, not really but it's like HELL !!! I hate it, & I have no idea what is the problem, one month nothing, & then it starts again. Grrrrrrrrr [/glow]
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Post by Faithy on Sept 12, 2004 1:16:26 GMT -5
What goes away and starts again? Your symptoms? What do you mean?? .. Are you ok? *worries*
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Post by Frenchy Faith on Sept 17, 2004 1:33:34 GMT -5
[glow=blue,3,900000]No worries, I was just pissed coz I had broken a glass when I can usually control & not drop anything. Just a bout of anger, nothing serious. I'm learning to deal with it, the symptoms come & go but they said it's not serious so I guess I just have to find what trigger them. This year unlike last year I have 2 hours a week of sport so it might help, i donno. If it's stress related I donno what else I could try coz I think I might have tried everything I could think of, lol But anyway do not worry, [/glow]
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Post by Frenchy Faith on May 27, 2005 3:22:37 GMT -5
Damn, if you need that then I'll start threaten you finally...
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Post by Frenchy Faith on May 27, 2005 3:49:37 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,900000]That's what "you" say.... I would watch out in your place... [/glow]
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Post by Frenchy Faith on May 27, 2005 4:02:22 GMT -5
[glow=navy,2,900000]I never said such a thing! Here you misinterpret my words... but I won't explain, I love ambiguities ! [/glow]
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Post by Frenchy Faith on May 27, 2005 4:24:23 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,90000]Pfff, you didn't even show him to me last time.. pretending we had too much to see... like I believe you... I know you won't do your g**se that is related to him even! [/glow]
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